by The dating world can be a tricky place. There are many toxic dating trends that can leave you feeling shaky and untrustworthy.
Love bombing, showering and flabbagging are just three of the most common. But these behaviours can be incredibly damaging for your mental health and self-esteem.
1. Love Bombing
Love bombing is a form of emotional abuse that happens when someone tries to win your affection by overwhelming you with excessive and exaggerated acts of adoration. It’s a technique that is often used by those with narcissistic or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to control others.
While it may seem romantic at first, love bombing can turn into an unhealthy relationship very quickly if you don’t pay attention. You’ll start to feel pressured, stressed out and repressed, which can lead to feelings of insecurity, anxiety and depression.
If you’re noticing that your partner is making you feel suffocated and isn’t showing any signs of letting up, it’s probably time to walk away. It’s important to set clear boundaries and communicate that you won’t tolerate this type of behavior.
This type of abuse is especially dangerous if you’re in a new relationship because it can be hard to know if someone is actually in love with you or if they’re just using you. If you’re unsure, seek professional help.
During the initial courtship stage, love bombers may shower you with gifts and other forms of attention. They may also talk about how much they care for you and mention that they feel like you might be their soul mate or twin flame, says Emily Simonian, LMFT, head of learning at Thriveworks in Washington, D.C.
But once you get to know them, love bombers tend to be very controlling and manipulative. They’ll take you for granted, call and message you multiple times a day and demand your attention even if they have no idea how to make you happy, says Jennifer Blears, MA, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles.
You’ll likely feel overwhelmed by their constant communication and will want to escape them as soon as possible, according to Ashley Bendiksen, a survivor and abuse prevention educator in Santa Cruz, Calif. It’s normal to feel a little overwhelmed after meeting someone you’re super into, but if they’re constantly sending texts, calling or texting you at all hours of the day and night, it could be love bombing, says Bendiksen.
2. Showering
Showering is an essential part of a healthy hygiene routine. The act of sanitizing the body and skin removes bacteria that can cause infections and allergies. It also helps reduce stress and promotes feelings of well-being and relaxation.
However, showering is a practice that may not be right for everyone. It uses a lot of water, causes environmental pollution and can leave your skin feeling dry and itchy. Moreover, many people use antibacterial soaps that kill off normal bacteria, which can lead to skin infections and allergic reactions.
In addition, showering can be very time-consuming and can negatively impact your schedule. It’s important to find a balance between using natural resources and preserving your health and wellbeing.
Taking a cold shower, for example, can cut down on sick days at work. Research shows that people who took cold showers were absent 29 percent less often than those who did not.
Some studies suggest that a good shower can also help improve your mood and increase energy levels. This is because it can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is a network of nerves that helps control stress and relieve tension.
Showering can be a great way to relax, as long as it’s done with the right mindset and you take enough time for the experience. It is also important to avoid overdoing it, as this can make you feel rushed and irritable.
It’s a good idea to use soap and shampoo that are gentle on the skin, so that you don’t end up with too much buildup or a funky smell. You should also be careful to rinse and pat yourself dry thoroughly after you finish a shower.
A lot of people like to get in the shower as soon as they wake up, as it is a good way to jump-start their day. They may also enjoy showering in the morning before a workout, as it can help them feel more energetic and motivated.
The shower is also a great place to think of creative solutions to problems and to develop ideas. For some people, it’s a place where their best ideas and epiphanies are born.
3. Fleabagging
Fleabag is a character on the BBC series created by Pheobe Waller-Bridge, who is constantly dating people that are bad for her and always seems to be let down. If you find yourself in a relationship where you aren’t getting love and respect, this might be a sign that you are fleabagging yourself.
It’s a toxic relationship pattern that many people find themselves stuck in. It can be hard to break the cycle, but recognizing that you are fleabagging yourself is an important first step toward changing your behavior. Matchmaker Susan Trombetti tells HelloGiggles that you need to take a look at your past relationships and determine if they fit the fleabagger stereotype.
You can also ask yourself whether you have ever made a similar mistake in a previous relationship and then decide whether or not it’s worth it to try again. You might be surprised by how much you learn from a new partner, especially if they are different from your usual type.
Another way to stop yourself from dating someone that is wrong for you is to get out of your comfort zone. This will help you to understand your needs better and see if someone else is the right fit for you.
For example, you might not be interested in dating a hot priest, but you might be surprised by how well you get along with one who doesn’t fit your usual type. This can be a refreshing change that could lead to an amazing romantic experience.
Ghosting has been a trend since Charlize Theron brought it to the forefront in 2015. It’s a tactic where you avoid communicating with someone because you don’t want them to know you are in a relationship with them. It is a great way to escape an uncomfortable situation that you don’t want, but it can also have a very negative effect on the person who you are ghosting.
This is a toxic dating trend that will have a negative impact on your mental health. It can make you feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to, and it can also make you feel confused and lonely. The best way to avoid this is by talking to friends and family about it, so they can guide you on how to handle the situation.
4. Benching
If you’ve ever played a sport in middle school (or even in fantasy football) you probably know the term benching. It’s when a player is kept on the team, but they don’t get any field time because another player takes priority.
In dating, it’s pretty much the same thing–except the person who benches you isn’t actually interested in you or committed to a relationship. And it can be a really hurtful situation for you, too.
The key is to keep an eye out for the warning signs of benching. If you see that someone is consistently dragging their feet or not responding to your texts and messages, it’s time to take a step back and figure out if they’re truly serious about you.
“Benching can happen if someone isn’t ready to be exclusive, but they aren’t ready to commit completely either,” explains Ann Rosen Spector, PhD, a clinic psychologist in Philadelphia. This can be a sign that they aren’t ready for a real commitment, or they may be just too scared to make a move and put themselves out there.
It can also be a sign that they’re not willing to invest their time in you and your relationship, or they don’t have any interest in finding out whether you’re actually ready for a long-term commitment. If you’re feeling this way, it’s time to let them go and find someone who is more interested in seeing you grow as a person and not as a number on their phone screen.
Alternatively, if you’re the one doing the benching, it might be time to talk to them about it and figure out what’s going on. Hopefully, this can lead to a much better and happier outcome for everyone involved.
This is a toxic dating trend, and it can be really hurtful. But if you aren’t ready to let it go, you can always try turning the game around on them and letting them know they aren’t as good at dating as they think they are. You can do that by contacting them or sending them a flirty text just to get the ball rolling!
